Updates from Tim Klassen

I will never forget this experience. I was in my early 20s and was going to the gym. I am not and never have been a serious bodybuilder but I had become friends with a couple of the guys at the gym who were. It just so happens that one of them was a former Mr. Canada. Yeah, you know they were serious at this weightlifting thing.

 

On this most memorable day, Marc (Mr. Canada), and his training partner were doing what they called “negatives.” It's where you do exercises with an amount of weight that you actually can’t perform on your own. A partner or partners help you do the first part of the exercise and THEN you resist that weight on the way back. They asked me and a buddy if we wanted to join them. I said “Sure.” So I did exercises like squats and  bench presses etc that far exceeded my maximum as they helped me and then I would resist the weight slowly the other way. Quite a burn.

 

I don’t remember the amount of weights or the number of exercises we did. I am sure I tried to impress them. Whatever. What I do remember is that when I got home I felt exhausted. I thought I would just lie down on the bed for a few moments which I did. And then I tried to get up … but I couldn’t. Nope. Couldn’t move. I mean not forever, but it seemed like forever until I could actually coax my body to get up and move. It let me know … “Don’t you ever do that again.”

 

I learned a valuable lesson that day that gets reinforced every so often. We have limits. Our bodies have limits. Our relationships have limits. Our credit cards have limits. Life has limits. If we try to push past them too far we do so at our own expense. Think health issues, burnout, relational costs etc.

 

There is a psychological pull for us to improve quickly. We live in a culture of instant gratification. With a few taps on our phones, we can order food, get directions, or even find a date. This constant access to quick solutions has conditioned us to expect immediate outcomes in every area of our lives. So when we don’t see quantum leaps of progress, it’s easy to feel discouraged.

 

And of course, social media amplifies the pressure. There’s the relentless flood of images and stories of people achieving quick success. This may be true, but often there’s more behind the story. But it leads us to believe that we, too, should be making giant leaps forward. When we set these massive expectations, they become overwhelming. The moment we don’t reach them, we lose our sense of accomplishment and are tempted to quit altogether.

 

So there is wisdom in “Don’t try TOO hard.” There is a place for pushing ourselves, going further, testing the limits but there is much to be said in a methodical and systematic progression that respects our limits as we do that. Most of the lasting gains we make in life will be the result of slow and steady improvement. That’s the place to make your greatest effort.  It’s the place of lasting change.

It’s common to hear winners of prestigious events like the Olympics or World Championships say that anyone can fulfill their dreams if they work hard enough. The gold medalists on the podium often tell inspiring stories of grit, perseverance, and an unshakeable belief in their ability to succeed. These narratives are powerful and motivating, encouraging people to chase their ambitions with relentless determination. The underlying message? You can do anything if you put your mind to it.

But there’s a problem with this message: it’s a fallacy. While hard work and determination are critical, the truth is, we all have limitations. Genetics, environment, and resources all play a significant role in shaping what’s possible for each of us. You can’t do it all, and you weren’t meant to. No matter how much you train, if you’re 5’2” and dreaming of becoming an NBA player, your chances are slim. It's not about giving up on dreams, but rather understanding that every individual comes with certain limits—and that's okay. Pushing yourself to do everything not only sets unrealistic expectations but can also lead to burnout and frustration.

Instead of trying to do it all, a healthier and more effective approach is to recognize where you have personal advantages—whether it’s through genetics, natural talents, or unique experiences—and leverage those strengths to become the best version of yourself. By focusing on what makes you uniquely capable, you can maximize your potential without constantly comparing yourself to others. After all, comparison is the thief of joy and the road to self-destruction. The real victory comes from embracing who you are, cultivating your strengths, and understanding that success looks different for everyone.

Now, here are some coaching questions to explore this: